"Nature Versus Nurture, Part One"

Posted on Tue Jan 31st, 2017 @ 7:54pm by Lieutenant Commander Marit Lantry M.D., Ph.D. & Colonel S'er'in'e

Mission: Shadows and Whispers
Location: Doctor Marit Lantry's Office, Starbase 332
Timeline: Before "The Many Headed Hydra"

After getting a good night's sleep, a decent meal, and a proper shower, Marit felt like a new woman when she entered her office at the beginning of Alpha shift. Allowing her first raktajino of the morning to cool as she sat behind her desk, she asked the computer to display her schedule for the day and was surprised to find Colonel S'er'in'e as her first appointment. She had hoped he would reschedule as promised during their first meeting, but Lantry was experienced enough to know that sometimes promises made in session weren't always kept out of session. Being first on her schedule could mean he was anxious to get it over with or he was anxious to address his emotional challenges. Either way, she was looking forward to meeting with him again. Lantry knew he was struggling and she found it promising that he was willing to reengage with her again.

The notification flashed on S'er'in'e computer terminal that he had an arranged appointment, one he'd almost forgotten about in light of everything that had happened. However there were other demands that prevailed and those were matters of correction. During the last appointment S'er'in'e's control over his emotions wavered and as a result he reacted and bore his claws. Amends demanded be made for such an act. In light of not knowing the female very well he opted to present to her a selection of fabric from the Homeworld that he had brought with him from his trip there with his Mate. With so many unknowns regarding the Counselor S'er'in'e decided that 6 rolls of different colours was suitable for variety and the hope he picked a favoured colour.

The walk to the Counselors office was brief for someone his size and chimed the door to announce his arrival.

"Come in," Marit called out, the doors opening upon her command as usual. She smiled as she saw the Colonel.

S'er'in'e stepped in, bowed as tradition demanded and then spoke. "Counselor, before we begin I'd like to present you with this." He placed the rolls on a small table next to the chairs. "In our last meeting I reacted to my emotions, bore my claws. I should not have and traditions demand I make amends for my actions, so please...accept these."

Marit reached for the rolls of beautiful colored fabric and delighted in her gift. Even though she had become familiar with his customs and viewpoint in their last session, she wasn't entirely comfortable with him bowing in front of her or offering her gifts for reacting emotionally. To her, it was the equivalent of apologizing for being human. "Out of respect for your culture and what makes you feel comfortable after our last session, I will accept your gifts with pleasure," Lantry offered, "but for the record, from my point of view, you have nothing to apologize for. I was not offended in the least and I am not afraid of you. Still, I respect your feelings and I appreciate the thoughtfulness behind your intent."

"My...customs are very strict in the conduct males must have in the presence of females, I was not defending you nor myself and yet....." S'er'in'e paused. "I am aware my ways make some uncomfortable but in light of my Overseer being on board it is more important now than ever that traditions and ways be observed."

Marit nodded. She hadn't met the Overseer personally, but the rumor mill was just as strong on the Starbase, and apparently the woman had made quite a splash. "I understand. From what I hear, your Overseer hasn't made life easy for you. How are you coping with all of that?" Landry respected his culture obligations, but that didn't mean she didn't have sympathy for how difficult such obligations could be for even the most loyal and dedicated.

"Aside from the hostility between the Overseer and my Mate, the outright disregard for Captain Von and her disapproval at me......condition. She has elected to have me train under a guardian to restore that which she feels I have lost." There was no hiding the fact that S'er'in'e was displeased with the developments.

"I'm sorry," Marit replied sincerely. "I know you're still struggling with your emotions surrounding your actions following the shuttle crash. The last thing you need is to receive new criticism, this time from a very... assertive external source," Lantry added, finally settling on the most nonjudgmental word she could think of to describe what she knew of the Overseer. "How are you coping?"

"Not well." S'er'in'e responded flatly. "The Overseer feels that I have let alien influences take inflict a negative impact on my abilities. She feels that I have adjusted to be accepted by aliens than to be myself and accept me as I am." Issue was, it was true. "I know I am a danger to everyone around me, it comes with what I am....but perhaps I have tried too hard to be accepted by adjusting how I present myself."

"Let me ask you, did you ever feel that way before the Overseer came?" Marit respected the Overseer was someone that mattered to him greatly, but Lantry also knew how much an overbearing person could mess with the mind of someone already feeling vulnerable.

S'er'in'e walked to a window and thought. "I thought I was doing what was best to be accepted, when people see me they see me for what I am, they know I'm a danger to them as do I. I could brake bones in a handshake, I am over 500 human pounds in weight and so if I ran into someone who knows what the consequences may be." He paused. "I thought I was doing the right thing, putting people at ease around me. Perhaps the guardian is right and I have let alien influences strip me of my true identity and all that's left is a socially acceptable individual."

"Being socially acceptable isn't a bad thing. Even your Overseer adapts her behavior as she needs to get what she wants," Marit pointed out. "That doesn't mean she is any less capable of giving into a more primitive nature, it just means she chooses not to because behaving otherwise is more effective at getting her what she wants. We all have to adapt our behavior regularly to suit our environment. I think the fact that you consider how you are perceived by others and are able to modify your behavior as needed shows a more sophisticated awareness of your true identity, not a strict awareness."

"The Overseer does not share your perspective Counsellor." S'er'in'e responded. "She said I have lost my edge, that I have sacrificed skills and talents to be accepted by others, that I should not have to change who I am just be accepted but instead be accepted as I am. I have been, painfully, in training with a Guardian. Her task is to remind me what it is to be Caitian." S'er'in'e thought briefly.

"If I were to ask you to grow your hair beyond its current length, change its colour. Would you feel that I do not accept you as you are or would you feel that I am trying to change you into something that I find more favourable?" S'er'in'e posed to her.

"I suppose I would want to know why you were asking me to change those things. Are you asking simply because you do not find my current appearance pleasing or because something about the way I look causes you pain or anxiety, and it directly interferes with your ability to trust or relate to me?"

Lantry considered his statements more fully and added, "However, in this case, it seems the only person that's actually asking you to change who you are is the Overseer. All of the other things you've done to make people feel at ease around you have been your choice, out of consideration for your goals and concerns. I still believe there is a difference between altering your behavior to fit a circumstance and changing who you are as an individual. I don't see how being aware of your size and making an effort not to use it to intimidate some people at times, for example, is stripping you of who you are. Certainly, making those changes will never alter your actual height and weight, and there is nothing that says you won't or can't use your size in traditional tasks associated with your people at any time. You are a flexible individual, capable of reading a situation and adapting your behavior accordingly. As I said, that to me is a sign that you are an enriched individual, not a limited one. Choosing to behave only one way and then refusing to adapt out of consideration for the needs of others would be pure suicide. Organisms that cannot adapt to their environment die, do they not?"

Clearly there was a misunderstanding somewhere but S'er'in'e was not sure how to explain it. "The Overseer doesn't share you perspective Counsellor. She believes that I have focused too much on changing myself to be accepted instead of people accepting me as I am. I am a danger to everyone, I know that, and as a result I have tried to be less intimidating, less frightening. But in doing so she believes that I have lost what it means to 'be' Caitian." He paused. "Is a Betazoid still a Betazoid if they are not telepathic? Is a klingon still a Klingon without forehead ridges? Is a Vulcan still a Vulcan without his logic?" S'er'in'e asked. This was how he viewed himself, had he allowed the concepts of acceptance by aliens corrupt so much that he was no longer viewed as a Caitian.

"We've talked about what the Overseer believes and I've shared what I believe, but ultimately, what matters most is what you believe. What do you think and what do you feel?"

TBC