Deflections and Demons
Posted on Mon Apr 6th, 2015 @ 3:13pm by Captain Liarra Von & Lieutenant Commander Marit Lantry M.D., Ph.D.
Mission:
Ill Tidings
Location: Commanding Officer's Office, Starbase 332
"Thank you for taking the time to see me, Captain," Marit opened warmly. "If I had no experience with Starfleet at all, I would still surmise you were quite a busy woman judging by the size of the base and the sheer number of people coming and going. Dr. Reed has brought me up to speed, but she insisted I meet with you to make sure I addressed any needs you might have. She also asked me to apologize again on her behalf for her abrupt departure. Of course, she understands when Starfleet Medical calls, she is obligated to answer no matter how disruptive the changes might be, but she regrets the inconvenience to you and the crew just the same," Lantry added sincerely.
Von nodded along to Lantry's apology. Dr. Reed certainly had to leave in a hurry, but Liarra was starting to feel that that was becoming a habit among the crew. "No apologies necessary, Doctor. Most officers prefer to serve on starships over starbases. The former is usually much more glamorous. And unfortunately, recent events have left this station even less of a desirable assignment." The Trill woman gestured for the counselor to have a seat. Before joining her at the desk she strolled over to the replicator. "Caramel cappuccino," she said into the machine. In a short moment, a steaming mug appeared, which Von picked up carefully. She looked back over at Lantry. "Anything for you, Doctor?"
"Thank you, Captain," Lantry replied. "I'd love what you're having." In response to Von's comments about Reed, she offered. "Actually, Dr. Reed and I discussed preferences before she left, and she actually found the size of the station and the constant comings and goings to be an exciting challenge. We agreed everyone deserves good healthcare no matter where they reside. Personally, I find glamour to be in the eye of the beholder."
With two identical cups in hand, Von returned to her seat behind the desk. She carefully sat one cup in front of Lantry before carefully cupping her cup with her other hand. She took a quick sip of the creamy drink. "I can't argue with you there, Doctor. Sometimes I get away from here, but over the past few years, I've grown father fond of this station, for better or for worse." Her thoughts took her back to the names on the memorial wall in the main promenade deck, but she didn't vocalize those thoughts to the counselor.
Marit wasn't telepathic but she could see the Captain was pensive. "Something troubling you, Captain?"
"Oh, no, it's nothing. I was just thinking about the attack. I wasn't here when it happened. I was out playing war games on the Carthage when someone smuggled a bomb onto the station." She paused a moment to take sip of her drink. "But there's no need to talk about that, at least not with me. There were a lot of people still around that were on the station when the bomb went off, many of them who lost loved ones. Those are the people that you need to be talking to."
Marit's therapeutic radar instantly alerted. She understood and respected Von's desire to see her crew tended to before herself, but Lantry also knew what it did to leaders emotionally when they realized they hadn't been there when the people they led were in trouble. "I'll be talking to everyone," Lantry replied quietly. "Right now, I'm wondering how you are. I couldn't help but notice you specifically mentioned you were playing war games when the bomb went off. You could have just say you were away. Might you have mentioned that for a reason?"
Lantry almost caught her off guard, but it wasn't the first time in all of her lifetimes that Von found herself talking to a psychologist. "Don't worry, Doctor. I don't have any inner demons that are trying desperately to get out. Yes, I was a little frustrated that we were caught off guard. The Sojourners picked a good time for them, bad time for us, to set the bomb. That's all there is to it. No need for a psychoanalysis of my word choice." After finishing that thought, Liarra had another. "And I'm not being defensive."
"Everyone has inner demons," Marit replied evenly," though for the record, I wasn't accusing you of releasing yours, merely asking about which ones might be rattling around. Is it fair to say you've been accused of releasing your demons and being defensive by counselors before?"
"I usually don't let it get to that point, Doctor," Liarra snapped back. The Trill understood the need for counselors, but she was convinced that she didn't have a need for one. "Besides, my demons aren't internal." Von pointed out the window of her office, towards the stars. "My demons are out there, commanding starships and fledgling empires. My demons are the people who threaten the safety of this station, its inhabitants, or the Federation. I don't keep them bottled up. It's no secret who my demons are."
Marit found her answer intriguing. What did she mean by not letting it get to the point she was accused of being defensive? Did that mean she usually walked out of counseling sessions before they were complete? Did that mean she deflected from the very issue whenever it came up? "If your demons are external to you, I can see why keeping them under wraps would be exhausting," Lantry began. "As long as your demons are outside of your control, they have all the power to determine your well-being."
Von wagged her finger at the counselor. "Doctor, I appreciate your concern, but you don't have to worry about me. I'm working on my sixth lifetime. I've had plenty of experience dealing with demons."
"With that many lifetimes, I'd expect there is a lot of demons to deal with," Marit replied. "The question is how you deal with them."
Von offered a friendly but sly smile. "I deal with them very well, thank you."
Marit couldn't help but smile and she waggled her finger at the Captain playfully. "Nice try. I knew you're smart, but I didn't realize you are such a smart ass," Lantry replied. She took a gamble that Von would know she was joking.
Von smiled to reassure Lantry that she was taking it all in stride. "I've had a lot of practice over the years."
"Avoidance covered with humor could still lead to pain down the road, Captain," Marit offered simply. "I understand if I'm not your first call when you need emotional support, but I am wondering, whom do you reach out to in the dark moments?"
It was a valid question, and one that she didn't really have an answer to. To whom did Liarra reach out? Sometimes she talked rhetorically to her mother, or to Alexander. Sometimes she spoke to her father over subspace radio, but was a bit limited in what she could say thanks to security clearances. She and Jordan were getting closer, but still not to the level that she was friends with his late brother. Most of her time she chose to leave herself alone with her thoughts. Von shook her head. "Don't worry about me, Doctor. I have plenty of outlets. If I ever do need someone different to talk to, I'll be sure to let you know."
Lantry recognized a deflection when she heard one. "I wouldn't be much of a counselor if I ever stopped worrying about a member of my crew, nor if I took their word for it when they said they were coping well emotionally," she added knowingly. "I also recognize a deflection when I hear it, though I respect you just may be tired of talking to me for today." Marit smiled. "I believe it's necessary to see you again, Captain. Can I count on you to reschedule?"
No, I don't think you can, Von thought to herself. "I'll see what I can do, Counselor," she replied, giving a very noncommittal answer. "I do have some other matters that I need to attend to today, and I don't want them to slip. It was good meeting with you, Doctor. And again, welcome aboard."
Captain Liarra Von
Commanding Officer
Starbase 332
Lt. Commander Marit Lantry M.D., Ph.D.
Chief Counselor
Starbase 332
