I, too, speak fluent sarcasm..

Posted on Mon Mar 28th, 2016 @ 12:16am by Lieutenant Julia 'Jules' Bryce & Lieutenant Commander Le Austin

Mission: Brave New World
Location: Security Offices

Austin walked into the Security offices, lugging a large analysis kit on his back, "Lieutenant? Any issues with me going and hitting the computer hub? I've got all manner of awkward readings coming off of that hub," He said, grinning apologetically.

"What are the chances that we're gonna lose it after you start playing with it? On a zero to screw the pooch level.." Bryce asked as he trudge by. "It's a busy night. Activity's poppin'. If we go down, I want the guys ready with a backup plan before we have to implement it."

"Well," Austin began thoughtfully, "There's about a 1 out of 10 chance that you're going to lose it, which is pretty significant, I admit. But considering there's about a 1 in 4 chance you're going to lose it if I _don't_ get back there... AND I can get it back up pretty quickly if it goes down with me back there working on it, versus waiting on someone to get back up there and try to figure out what's wrong and then fix it... I mean, I think you want me back there, but don't let me put words in your mouth," Austin replied, casually, shrugging a bit.

Wrinkling her nose, Jules turned back to her console with a frown. "Is it a requirement for engineers to give you six answers to one question or do you need to butter the bread with a little doom so no one asks you any other questions?"

Austin seemed to ponder that for a moment, the shrugged, "Mostly Option Number Two. It tends to oil the wheels a bit," He said, then gave her a grin. "Le Austin. Chief Operations Officer."

"Jules Bryce. Security henchmen number two and lead heckler for the department. So why are you lugging gear like that? You'll put your back out. Get a huge 90-year-old guy lumbago thing going on. Won't they give you a grav cart?"

Austin snickered, "They would, if there were any available. I grew up Bajoran resistance, missy, I have no problem lugging heavy equipment," He said. "Standing still with it while I wait for access to a broken system, though... that get's a little heavy," He said, giving her a smirk.

"Then put it down, Einstein. The hub's yours- I'm just giving you a hard time- though you should find a grav cart. Herniated discs aren't fun. Surgery isn't fun. Sickbays aren't fun. Grav carts for the win. Lemme show you how this works.." Turning in her chair a little, Bryce eyed the security officers moving around the room until she spied the one she wanted. "HENDRICKS!

The man nearly jumped as he turned and scowled over at her. "WHAT?

"We still have an extra cart in lock up?" She grinned impishly at the man. "Bring it up here would you? Please?"

"What?" Hendricks repeated again. "You just yelled at me for-"

Jules leaned forward on one elbow and stared at the officer with an absolutely serious expression on her face. "Shnookums. Sweetheart. Sugar bear. Honey bunny. I can keep going. Huggy McFluffcheeks.."

With a frustrated groan, Hendricks stalked off towards lock up. "One grav cart coming up. Just make sure it comes back when you're done with it."

"Well, Hendricks was it? My department provisions those grav carts, so... you know... technically, if someone gave me a reason to... like... bad attitude or poor treatment of the Chief of Operations, I'd be able to... unrequsition them..." He said, flashing a toothy smile.

Spinning back to her console to keep typing while they spoke, Jules continued on in a much lower tone. "Oh he wouldn't do that. He's a lamb, Hendricks is. As sweet as they come. He just doesn't like me too much because I fussed at him about eating over an evidence plaque earlier. You won't get any guff from him. Good guy, just flustered and tired from everything that's going on. If he's pissed at me, he has something else to do other than thinking about being tired or his feet hurting. Don't bust his chops, too. If he feels ganged up on it's bad for his spirit."

"No chops busted," Austin replied with a grin. "I just thrive on sarcasm."

"Sarcasm?" That might as well have been her second language. "You've got a sweet face, buddy. I'd have never expected a sharp tongue, too."

"I like to refer to it as active camouflage. Makes my devastating jabs all the more surprising - and effective!" He said, giving her a winning smile. He chuckled a bit, "I don't think I'd want to try my hand at a verbal riposte with you, but I can hold my own."

Jules looked back over her shoulder, laughing. "Oh, I'm not that bad. I'm just a very motivating speaker, you know? I'm also almost never stuck running the desk which is good because I drive people crazy when I do. No filter."

Austin chuckled a bit, "What's the usual job description? Chief head basher?" He asked.

"No," scoffed the brunette as she typed away at an event log: being sure to use all caps to emphasize where she'd verbally add in the extra inflections. "We have boys better suited for that and not a one of 'em have necks. I don't do my best talking to the people that tend to come up to the front desk and ask for help. All of them come up here knowing that they'll be safe because they trust the uniform and the reputation. The people I do best with are all in the underdecks where platitudes and pretty speeches don't make a fig of difference. You shoot from the hip there and don't try to pretty up the facts. Get their trust and you get a lot more done than sitting up here at a desk."

"Ah, yeah. I love it down there, too," Austin replied. "Just folks, surviving best they can. Reminds me a lot of back home during the war," He told her. "If you ever want really good Bajoran food there's this great place on deck three-hundred twenty-seven. They modified an old ambassador's quarters down there into a food place. Really good stuff," He said, grinning.

Thinking for a moment, Bryce shook her head. Most of the ships that she'd served on were fairly human-centric and the mess halls weren't that adventurous. "I don't think I've ever had Bajoran food actually. I heard it's a lot like Israeli but with punchier spices. You ever had Middle Eastern human fare to know what I'm talking about? Kahve? Baba Ghannouj? Muhammara? Kibbeh? I can't tell you what most of it is, but it tastes great."

Austin laughed, "Yes, I've had most of that, and it's very similar to Bajoran food, actually. The spices aren't really... punchier, per se? Just different. If you liked that, you'd love Bajoran food. But I might be a little partial," He said, tapping the side of his nose, right next to his ridges.

"I never would have guessed.."the security officer drawled, deadpan. She smiled up at Hendricks as the grumpy man brought the grav cart over and even thanked him before he huffed off, silent. "He likes me. It's official."

"Oh, absolutely," Austin replied, making a face as if that was the most obvious thing in the world, "Will you need help planning the wedding?" He asked, dropping the analyzer on the grav cart with a thump.

"See I just don't think it's going to work. I'm not the gal that you bring home to mom and he's obviously enthralled with the chip on his shoulder. I don't share, Austin. I don't share. The relationship's doomed before it's ever began.." With a dramatic sigh and a moment of her arm flung over her eyes, Jules shook it off to return to her typing as if the whole moment of melodrama never happened. "No more straining your back now, you hear?"

"Okay, Doc," Austin said with a chuckle, heading back to the computer room. "If you want a cultural guide for Bajoran food, give me a shout, okay?" He offered.

"..You could just ask me out to dinner. That works, too, or so I'm told," Bryce called over her shoulder.

"Nah! That'd be too easy!" Austin called back, disappearing into the computer room.