Chief Counselor's Personal Log #5 - Small Steps

Posted on Tue Jan 30th, 2018 @ 2:02am by Lieutenant Commander Marit Lantry M.D., Ph.D.
Edited on Thu May 31st, 2018 @ 5:06pm

To whomever listens to these logs from Starfleet Counseling, let me first apologize for the delay in recording these personal logs. I know I'm supposed to set an example for my profession and the rest of the crew, but if I'm being completely honest, and considering the fact I'm currently talking to myself right now I think I can be, my thoughts have been a bit too restless to make sense of in my own head, let alone out loud and for the purposes of a recording such as this.

Certainly, there's more than enough activity here to distract me from any personal worries during my duty shift. One of the things I love about 332 is there's always people coming and going and enough diversity in our missions to keep me feeling interested and motivated, and excited for the day to come. Most recently, I met with the new CMO and I'm pleased to report that she is willing to let me work regularly as a physician just as the previous chief had agreed. I believe she is also open to letting me particularly help out in the areas of family medicine and women's health, which is frankly an opportunity to spend time with children and pregnant women, and who could resist that? There something life-affirming about being around youthful energy and hope for the future. I can hardly wait to attend to my first birth.

That new challenge aside, I still haven't lost any of my passion for helping the crew manage their emotional challenges - although I have found myself reflecting on the job I've been doing lately. The Colonel has continued to struggle emotionally and I'm not sure how much good I am doing him. I don't expect to be able to completely understand his cultural traditions and the significance of his current struggles, but I fear our conversations only serve to remind him how different he is from so many of us. I'm not ever going to give up, of course, I just hope I won't do more damage in the process.

Then there is the Captain. She is quite capable and has been more than willing to talk to me about all she's been through of late, but I find myself wondering if she isn't more concerned with other people then with her own needs. I suppose that's not an unusual quality for a command officer. Whatever personal ambition drives them to pursue command, eventually every command level officer realizes that leading actually means sacrificing. I want to get to know her better if only so I can be the best support to her possible.

For now, however, I must continue to put 1 foot in front of the other and get back to work.