Trill to Trill

Posted on Sun Jan 29th, 2012 @ 2:10am by Lieutenant Commander Nilani Prax & Captain Liarra Von

Mission: The Invasion of Thane
Location: Starbase 332 - Corridors
Timeline: Backpost - Before Invasion of Thane

As she rounded the corner that would take her along the corridor that the outbound traffic from the Jackal's docking port would always run down whenever someone exited the ship through the airlock, Nilani caught sight of a dark-haired woman in red walking the other way, face down looking at a PADD she carried in her hand. Recognising her instantly, she started jogging to catch up. "Commander!"

Liarra once again found herself waist deep in work and reports. This one in particular was on the finer points of the Jackal's maintenance schedule. They often neglected to tell the cadets about this part of command. She almost didn't hear the other Trill behind her. "Hello, Nilani," she answered, letting her arm and PADD drop to her side.

"The Jackal keeping you busy I take it?" Prax asked, as she settled into pace beside her. The Metis still hadn't launched on any missions since it had been delivered to the station, so the new duties since Alex had told her he was giving her command of it were still relatively few.

"Actually, the station is keeping me busy, and it's causing me to get behind on my reports," Liarra said, gesturing with the PADD hand. "At least now I know why Alex gives me that look every time I bring him departmental updates."

"I know what you mean," the science officer responded. "I almost resorted to sending in my PADDs on a paper airplane the other week. I think he's considering having his office door welded shut so nobody can bother him with reports."

"Well let me know if it ever comes to that. I have the codes to the site-to-site transporter," Liarra answered with a laugh. "How's the Metis been treating you?"

"Not too badly," Prax responded. "She's not even left the station yet since we've gotten here, so I'm just waiting for something to come along that I can use to push Alex to send us out on a mission." Silence fell between them for a while as they walked, until Prax broke it once again, her tone taking on that of one who was broaching a subject that was distinctly awkward to them. "Liarra, you've been joined for about the same length of time that I have, right?"

Von nodded. "I think so. I've been joined for a couple of years now. Why do you ask?"

"Have you ever had trouble..." Nilani hesitated for a moment. "Trouble separating your wants or goals from that of your previous hosts?"

Liarra thinks to herself for a moment. "I suppose that sometimes, I can still feel a little of the drive of my previous hosts, but I don't know if separating them has ever been a problem. Sometimes I feel like embracing the wants and goals of my previous hosts help me chase my own goals."

"I sometimes have... trouble in recognising when something that I want is really what I want, or what, say Melissa wanted, or Bornash wanted," Nilani explained, hesitantly, but now fully committed to the conversation. "It's hard to explain. It's like... I picked up a cheese and pickle sandwich from the replimat yesterday. It was something one of the engineers introduced Melissa to when she was working on the Defiant project. But I hate cheese, I can't stand the stuff."

Not really meaning too, Liarra giggled. "I guess that's part of why we join though, isn't? I mean, that's what my mother always told me. Joining gave us the opportunity to share these feelings and experiences with our past hosts, to enrich our lives with new ideas. I never used to even listen to music, but my fourth host, Niri, was a violinist. I've found myself picking up a violin of my own and playing a little in my quarters. I'm not as good as she was, but I'm learning. Because we've joined, the lives of our past hosts are a part of us. Their wants become our wants. Their interests, their dreams, are part of us."

"Yeah, I get that," Nilani said, calmly as she'd had this conversation with herself before already. "But I'm just worried that there'll come a point where I don't know what's me, and what's them. I mean, I know all of it is 'me' now, and there is no 'them', but the fact that I have all of these experiences spanning hundreds of years when I'm not even thirty yet... it concerns me sometimes."

"I guess that's the challenge we face being hosts. Have you thought about going through the zhian'tara? From what I was told by the Symbiosis Commission, being able to talk with your past hosts really helps make sense of things."

"I've thought about it," the scientist responded. "And I have to admit that I would be fascinated to be able to talk face-to-face with some of my past hosts... it would be a fantastic opportunity for anyone to speak with people with such experiences of times past. I just feel... apprehensive about the thought of suddenly having these memories that I have inside me now being taken out and put into someone else, so that I can talk to the person they belong to. It's... still hard to get my head around, at least now that I actually have these memories, despite the training and coaching we were given as initiates."

"The hard part is that non-Trill counselors don't really understand. They don't really know how to help us cope with the new memories. I'm afraid I've never been good at giving advice."

Nilani chuckled. "And I've never usually been very good at taking it," she said with a smile, though she was seriously considering the commander's suggestion of the zhian'tara ritual to help her ease her mind. "Well, anyway, I'd best get back to my duties. Thanks for the talk."

Liarra smiled. "Any time, Nilani. I'll see you around." With a little wave, Liarra turns away to return to her own duties, glad that she could help her friend.

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Commander Liarra Von
Chief of Strategic Operations
Starbase 332

Lt. Commander Nilani Prax
Chief Science Officer
Starbase 332