Bedtime Bureaucracy

Posted on Tue May 12th, 2015 @ 4:23am by Lieutenant Commander Le Austin & Colonel S'er'in'e & Ensign Corrine Steiner
Edited on on Sun Jul 12th, 2015 @ 3:53pm

Mission: Blooming Friendships
Location: Ops Center

[ON]

Captain S'er'in'e starbase orientation for the day included red tape. A mousy, monotone voiced clerk projected and downloaded a lengthy form to the captain's PaDD, "For special bedding, you'll need to fill out a 1056-C-6 form." She then projected another, "Sickbay will need to perform an ergonomic analysis of your particular body needs... a 3626-D-9 form." Another form projected, "When you have those, submit a 5641-F-435 to engineering Life Systems Department." More forms projected, "Authorization from your superior officer or Sickbay physician... Doctor's followup sleep analysis of effectiveness... Interdepartmental requisition forms..."

Austin was looking the woman over with an arched eyebrow from where he stood leaning on a nearby bulkhead, "Lady," He said, sounding incredulous, "We're not asking to strap a warp core to the station to do a good will tour of Dominion space... we're asking for a bigger bed for the big kitty over here. You gotta be kidding me with all of these forms..."

The clerk gave him a dull stare over her horn rimmed tech glasses. After flicking her fingernails for a few moments in thought, she offered monotone advice. "If you would like to request a streamlined process, then please submit Form 4751-GG-095B. But first please search our knowledge base. If a similar request has already been submitted, then instead submit Form 4751-GG-095C. Copies will need to be approved by your commanding officer and submitted to Operations. If you would like to file a complaint, please submit Form 0001-Z-6666."

S'er'in'e listened to the woman as she spoke, as difficult as it was on his ears listening to her talk as if some kind of machine spouting information without pause for long periods. His patience was quickly being drained, all this trouble for a bed? The PADD he was holding was being updated with the various form requirements as she spoke but at the same time his hand was exerting pressure on it to curb his irritation. Austin's kitty reference was rewarded with a menacing glare which in part was fueled by irritation for the very situation he found himself in.

"Enough." S'er'in'e spoke, his patience had lost and one claw had managed to pierce the PADD's screen causing it to short out and emit an electronic burning scent. He placed it on her deck. "I have less trouble requisitioning a weapon, I will sleep on the floor if I have to or requisition sleeping apparatus from the Homeworld."

There was an ancient truism, 'Sergeants make the military world go around'. A veteran quartermaster had overheard the exchange. Bureaucrats were almost as difficult to work with as officers, but he knew how to get things done in spite of them. Sergeant Steele caught Austin and S'er'in'e's attention and beckoned them aside. Keeping his back to the clerk, he quietly explained, "Sirs, I think we can end run around this. The new Ops chief, Steiner? She knows how to thread the needle in no time. Why don't we give her a call?"

"Gah, fine by me," Austin replied. "I started getting a headache around the second form ID number," He said with a huff. "No one sleeps on the floor on this station," He added to S'er'in'e.

"Then let us seek her swiftly." S'er'in'e replied, it was clear it was taking a measure to keep his agitation in check. He'd encountered some over his years that irritated him as much as the clerk only this time there was little he could do to sooth his ruffled fur until later.

The sergeant nodded, flipping open an old style 'special channels' communicator. "Steele to Steiner..."

"Go, Steele."

"We're about to have a clerk mauled."

"Rita Red-tape?"

"Affirm."

"What's she constipated about this time?"

"Sleepless Caitian Marine Cap needs a bed."

"Go to Life Support and give 'em the full specs of what he wants. Tag it for some hoity toity ambassador. Tell them he's waiting for it and if it's not delivered within the hour, it could spark an interstellar incident. Then hover-sled it over to the Marine barracks. I'll sign off on it later."

The sergeant chuckled, "Thank you, ma'am! Steele out." He closed the box and smiled, "Ambassadors get what they want, when they want it. And they don't have to justify that kind of request. Shall we?"

S'er'in'e nodded, it was a step in the right direction and a hope of a decent sleep tonight if all went to plan with the scans and the female known as Steiner.

[OFF]

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Marine Capt. S'er'in'e
Lt. Le Austin
Ens. Corrine Steiner

Starbase 332
Pegasus Fleet