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Barbaric Etiquette

Posted on Thu Oct 1st, 2015 @ 1:22pm by Ensign Corrine Steiner & Duff McAllister

Mission: Blooming Friendships
Location: Promenade Two, SB-332
Timeline: Late virtual afternoon.


Despite the many usual war rumors, the starbase promenades remained a hub of busy trading. Misunderstandings between species sometimes resulted in problems, but by and whole people observed formal politeness. There was one event, however, which seemed out of place. Amidst the crowd, one newly arrived Duff McAllister heard yelling.

Duff steeped into the promenade for the first time. After arriving on board he unpacked his small trunk and decided to get something decent to drink. He picked up his Pad and left his quarters.

Stepping into a small shop Duff purchased a bottle of Moscato Wine and a wine glass. It was considered a dessert wine by many but Duff found it helped him relax and write. After scanning the promenade he found a corner to sit and sip wine and observe his new surroundings.

Typing a few notes for the paper, his train of thought was suddenly disrupted by the sounds of a scuffle. "Wow he thought, I don't have to go to the story, they're coming to me." Quickly he stood and turned to see where the commotion was coming from.

A tall Klingon dragged a terrified Ferengi by the scruff of the neck. In stark contrast to his prey, the warrior seemed quite calm and relaxed in his demeanor. The little man yelled, "Somebody save me!"

Oddly enough, most passersby didn't think much of it.

"Is someone going to do something?" he said to no one in particular, he began walking towards the large Klingon, but not as quickly as he would have liked due to the limp in his left leg. "Isn't there security or something onboard this blasted thing?" he asked angrily as he tried keeping up with the pair of aliens in front of him.

A pair of merchants obliged:
"You must be new, here."
"Either that, or you know little about Klingons."
"Let us offer you some advice."
"It is wise to avoid interfering with Klingon justice. You could end up in the airlock with the Ferengi."
"This kind of thing happens regularly wherever Klingons and Ferengi mingle."
"Do not fear for the little man's life. The man overboard system will quickly beam him from vacuum into sickbay."
"Perhaps a little wiser for the wear, hopefully."
"Let nature take its course. If you call starbase security to interfere, then all you will accomplish is delaying the inevitable."
"Klingons are most patient, when it comes to vendettas."
"Best to get this over with here and now."
"Very good fortune to you, Sir."

Disgusted at their inaction he replied smartly, "I hope misfortune follows you!"

Duff had never liked a bully or those that stood by without taking action. He did not move quick enough though.

True to merchant predictions, the warrior threw the panicked little man into an outer airlock. He then ceremoniously punched override buttons as the Ferengi silently screamed from the other side of the window. Moments later, the outer door opened to space. A local alarm rang, and moments later the space walker shimmered away in a transporter beam. Chuckling from the look of horror that he had last seen on the little criminal's face, the Klingon returned to his business.

He watched the Ferengi disappear in a transport beam and watched the Klingon laugh as he went back to whatever he was doing. "What kind of stinkin' hell hole did I drop in on?" He asked out loud to no one in particular.

Returning to his seat he picked up his bottle of wine and took a large swig while contemplating which angle to spin on the story. Scratching his chin he could feel the start of a beard beginning, he had always wanted to grow one in Starfleet but never did, now that he was a former officer he could do as he pleased. Making up his mind he picked up the bottle and headed to the turbolift. The single thought through his head at that moment was it would be easier to get an interview from a terrified Ferengi than a pissed off Klingon.

Mr. McAllister was in for a Ferenginar education. By the time he arrived at sickbay, medics had already treated the patient which the M.O.B.S. had emergency beamed in. Vacuum exposure had been brief, and his injuries were minor. The aggrieved little man didn't have much opportunity to milk sympathy from anyone, however. His activities which had provoked the Klingons to seek honorable vengeance were also a shade dis-legal in the eyes of the Federation. The little orange man named Zoop was summarily processed into one of SB-332's civilian detention centers, informally known as Hoosegow-3.

Upon arrival, Reporter Duff McAllister had the opportunity to flash his brand new starbase press badge for the first time. The guard snorted and rolled his eyes, "Be my guest."

Duff placed the badge back into his pocket and headed into Hoosegow - 3.

Hoosegow-3 was minimum security, at best. Indeed, some of the containment fields were considered to be a waste of power and had been replaced by old fashioned bars. Behind one field, however, were a group of four Ferengi. It was a bizarre sight. No longer able to tolerate their chanting protests, the guards had activated the silence feature on their containment doorway field. It made no difference. The ringleader Choople stood before them like an orchestra conductor. "WE WANT JUS-TICE! WE WANT JUS-TICE!" It was lively, it was fun, and it was morale building. They had even managed to turn bed sheets into protest banners, "Justice THIS Century, please!"

Duff was rather surprised at the cries for justice by the Ferengi. This sounded like a great news story but the last thing he wanted to do was create to many waves on his first day on the star base. He studied the Ferengi for a moment before the guard stepped up.

The guard deactivated the C-Field, "Hey, HEY! Knock it off, you guys! You have a visitor."

"Who is he?"

"He's a news reporter."

One would have thought than an angel had descended from heaven by the way their eyes lit up.
"A rePORTER?!"
"We're SAVED!"
"Come in! Come in to our office!"
"Free speech! NOW you're talking!"
"Are you with GNN?"

It appeared to Duff that he would not be able to get in much more than a few words, so he decided to try to speak in quick short sentences.

"Yes, I'm with GNN. I am a reporter. Why do you want justice?"

"Oh, the horror! The horror!"
"We've been victimized by inhoomane, irrational creature!"
"Oh, yes! She's completely unreasonable. She's locked us up forever!"
"This is exACTly what happens when you allow females to occupy positions of power!"

Duff cleared his throat and tried to speak but the Ferengi had found an audience and now was unleashing his pent up frustration.

"Chief of Operations, Steiner. She's a Ferengi-Phobe!"
"Totally intolerant!"
"How were we to know that our prospective customer was her mate?"
"She is SO over protective!"

Duff raised his voice slightly and forced his way into the conversation, "So you feel threatened by a female in power? It seems your biggest complaint is the fact she is a woman. Now unless you have facts I cannot assist you. Did she do something directly or indirectly to harm you or your business interests? I know for a fact Starfleet does extensive background checks on their officers. Now one at a time tell me exactly how you were victimized or else this conversation will be complete, and you won't even be a speck on my report."

The four little men stood frozen in blank stares at him. It was probably the first moment of silence that anyone on Starbase had seen in their presence.
"Oh, you poor man."
"He has been so conditioned by his culture!"
"That's all right. That's all right. Enlightenment takes a little time. Be patient, co-workers."

Choople explained, "That evil hooman has incarcerated us indefinitely on false charges! We didn't unlawfully detain anyone! All we were doing was... enthusiastic advertising. Yeah, that's the ticket! How were we supposed to know that Steiner-hoomon is so insanely jealous?" His eyes lit up, "You know, it's possible that she is the one who is holding the Shokirian in captive service!"

The others really liked that idea. They patted Choople on the back and shook his hand. They then presented their most pitiful expressions in hopes of eliciting sympathy.

Duff scratched his rough chin, once again trying to extract facts from opinions. "So what was the enthusiastic advertising that were you doing? And who is the Shokirian?" It seemed that these four Ferengi had been involved in something and it appeared that Choople was the brains behind the operation. They were up to something, but what exactly he hadn't figured out yet. What he did know for certain is there had to be a good reason why the four of them were being detained. His thoughts of this being a story were quickly fading but he wasn't giving up just yet.

"Oh, oh, the Shokirian is new species. Looks like a hoomon, but word is, it's Tholian."
"We were trying to find out why Starfleet tried to kill Steiner a few months ago."
"Shhh! We think she's a spy, so mum's the word."
"She's buddy-buddy with the Klingons, including the one who spaced Zoop!"

A little bell rang, to which the foursome rushed over to the cell wall. Starfleet had complied with Ferenginar standards of installing a stock ticker in prison cells. It was just cruel and inhoomane punishment to not allow it. "It's a rally! It's a rally!"

Before Duff could reply the four Ferengi went to watch the stock ticker. He walked away and headed to the press office where he began making notes for his article.

He didn't have enough information to write up anything in depth yet, but after hearing what the Ferengi had to say he knew he'd have to look into meeting Steiner and investigate why she was nearly killed. Duff also wanted to find the Shokirian that Choople had referenced.



Duff McAllister, GNN
Nefarious little orange men [Steiner]

Starbase 332
Pegasus Fleet


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