Nightmares

Posted on Fri Sep 23rd, 2016 @ 6:41am by Colonel S'er'in'e & Samanthia Akiashiro
Edited on on Wed Oct 5th, 2016 @ 10:26pm

Mission: Shadows and Whispers
Location: Quarters

S'er'in'e was nestled close to Samanthia in bed after being discharged from Sickbay with her within his arms holding her close to him. His muzzle nestled atop her head drawing in the scent he needed to fix the chemical imbalance that had developed from his close proximity to Von during the time they were stranded. His own injuries for the most part had been treated and healed, the imbalance something only Samanthia could heal and time would grant that.

The time on the planet was a dangerous one but one that raised some personal demons within himself. His time among Humans in Starfleet had taught him a medium of restraint but the defence of the Captain required he give up that restraint and use, become the predator he was.

Killing the Human was easy but it was not the kill that bothered him, S'er'in'e was savage, brutal, as he slashed at the body to make it appear a wild animal had claimed the kill. That control he had to let go if only for a moment but the effects had lasted.

Being stalked for soo long had strained him, sleep didn't come easily or long enough to rejuvenate him and he always had to be wary of the Captain, her injury and the secrets he kept from her.

At first Samanthia didn't notice the changes right off the bat. She was busy running operation in Warp-12 and The Dive down on the lower decks. Then he stayed up later than usual, Then snuggling her close to him when finally did get to bed, but then waking to an empty bed. She was puzzled. But she figured he needed some time. She stretched kicking the blanket off of her to begin a new day. She noticed that the blanket had been changed to a new one while she had slept.

S'er'in'e was making breakfast and once again the scents wafted through the rooms. Distraction proved his enemy here as he made enough to feed more than just two but he needed to keep himself busy. Sleep didn't come easy, another bedsheet ruined. He knew his Mate would notice, all women knew when something bothered the ones they loved. Samanthia could read him well from his body language, ears and tail to the tone of his voice and how he held himself.

It was only a matter of time.

Samanthia sat at the table, watching him cook away, making a feast for an army of Caitians. She sipped on the most vilest smelling brew, but she loved the taste and smell of it. She had been sitting there for the past ten minutes and even he didn't even notice her as it was obvious he was deep in thought. "If I was an assassin. Not only I could've killed you. But your mate also." She spoke up, staring at him over the cup of her vile brew. She knew that S'er'in'e hated that drink.

Killing, a sore subject for him at this present time. "Perhaps." He began to place the various plates of the meal on the table, bar the two dinner sized plates for the pair of them, it became quiet a squeeze to fit them all. "Please, help yourself." When he returned to the Kitchen he began to clear up. Some plates were on small heaters so they would keep hot or warm depending on the dish. Once again keeping himself busy, distracting himself.

"Sit." Samanthia used that command voice only mothers seam to have that demands immediate obedience or there will be hell pay. She watched him as she served herself up of the food offered. She began to eat slowly, savoring the food.

Commanded and he would obey he placed everything down and crossed the room to sit at the table. His tail unfurled from his waist to slip through the gap in the backrest of the chair. Without being told he starting placing food on his plate. Silence for now aside from Samanthia was his companion, what would she do if she knew? How would things change?

"Somethings terribly bothering you. I want to know. If I can help, I will. If not, I can recommend outside help." Samanthia looked at him, making eye contact with him. She took another bite of her portion of the food that she had served herself.

S'er'in'e held his silence for a moment and it was clear by the muscle twitches and movements he was in thought. He placed the large Caitian sized cutlery down next to the plate. "When we were stranded on the planet, the Captain injured, I had to look after us." His tone held more feline inflections than normal. "It became apparent that our crash was not accidental and while searching the crash site for anything we could use another shuttle landed not far away. Three occupants, a Human, Klingon and Nausican."

S'er'in'e paused looking at his plate then briefly at Samanthia. "I had to protect us." He stood up and walked to the window. "They were gaining ground on us, Von's injury was slowing us down and my own injuries ached me." S'er'in'e sounded like he was trying to justify what he did, but it sounded like it wasn't working on him. "I had to slow them down, give them cause for caution."

He could see her reflection on the windows polished surface. "One night I went out, they didn't make it hard to find them. I used what I am to my advantage, became what I am." He paused as if disgusted by it. "I stalked, I hunted, I waited until one separated from the group.....the Human." His body language clear to read of anger and disgust.

"He walked a little way off and began urinating against a tree, that was when I attacked." S'er'in'e growled. "I killed him." He turned to face Samanthia. "He didn't know I was even there and I KILLED HIM!!!!. I wanted to make it appear a wild animal had claimed him, I tore out the side his throat with my fangs with my hand over his mouth, I hacked and slashed at the body as he lay there shaking in deaths throws on the ground." Such was S'er'in'e emotional state that the UT was no longer in sync with the movements of his mouth, his anger and pain at what he'd done evident. "I am a Marine, trained to kill but kill cleanly. Killing is easier for me because of what I am, but that night I was nothing more than a beast slashing at his prey."

"Caitian's are supposed to be a mature, respected, cultured race but that night I was none of those things. I looked down upon that man with his insides spewling from the open wounds. I saw what I had done and I felt different, changed." He turned back to the window. "I saw how fragile Human life was, how easy it was for me to take it. At night when I close my eyes it's not the man I killed I see laying there. It showed me that just a momentary lapse of concentration, a split second slip of control and that could be you." He was clearly upset by the whole ordeal, worried that admitting what he did would make her want to leave him now that he was a killer, a wild beast...a murderer.

Samanthia set her utensils down and moved to him, gently wrapping her arms around him as she rested her head on his back. "I know the feeling, my love," She spoke softly. "My hands are not bloodless. I'd worry a lot more if you didn't have these feelings. The right and wrongs of killing another sentient life. Whether it is in the course of survival, defence of those placed under your protection, fighting off an enemy so that millions more may live in harmony with others." She gave him a gentle belly rub to ease his inner turmoil. "You and Station Commander are alive and enjoying being with those you care about. I wish I had the magic words to make it okay. I whont leave you. If you feel that you can't handle it. Take some leave. Go to Cait and talk to your Elders, parents." She hugged him gently as she rested against him, hugging him. Just letting him know she still loved him. Beast and all. "We all have our dark sides."

His tail coiled about her as she stood behind him, he felt terrible, like he'd lost part of himself because of what he did. As Samanthia had said it was in defence, to ensure survival of both the Captain and himself. Killing however, for some was an art, for marines it was a necessity, for a Caitian a very thin line. Inflicting harm upon another was one thing, a daily occurrence even in the advanced life they lead today but for a Caitian to cross the line between civilised and outright butchery....

Caitians were regarded highly for physical prowess and often lived with the stigma associated with being naturally armed but also what they appeared to be. S'er'in'e in one act had betrayed that, confirming what some people believed....that they were nothing but savage killers.

Samanthia however stood by him, even after what he'd done. She understood why he did it, no doubt could picture it in her mind but inside it did little to change how he felt about what he did. Captain Von didn't know, probably didn't want to know, probably better she didn't.

"Do you think less of me?"

Samanthia gave thought to the question. "No." Her answer was simple, "And when you had to kill that Disgraced Cait, I still hold you in high regard and with the same love that made you my mate. I.. yours." She looked up at him with open honestly of how she felt about him. There was warmth in her eyes. A soft smile. she held onto his sides with her gentle grasping of his clothes. "You did what was required for survival. For Captain Von and yourself." She released him and moved to the view of space and the distant planet of Archa. "Oh... wear mitts to bed if you plan to continue to use me as a scratching post."

"Perhaps if you were closer to me then I would not be able to catch you with them." S'er'in'e replied with relief. He saw her standing there looking at the planet and taking his place behind her he took up the pose of holding her as a Caitian would the Mate. "Close." Still, his inner demons plagued him over what happened, what he did and how. Yet within his grasp was another Human, equally as fragile. He dreaded to think what might happen, what could happen, even if he fought with everything to make sure it didnt. "When I killed C'erl that was different, he was trained and large like myself. That Human, unsuspecting, fragile, weak and I butchered him. He stood no chance in my attack and yet for everything my race has had to endure because of what we are I gave fuel to that stigma we are given."

"They do so out of ignorance! And I've seen Humans fight Caitians in hand to hand combat before and won against the Caitian." Samanthia spoke softly. "It's you need to let go of what others think of you and let them make their judgement on your actions, the way you conduct yourself. Not some perceived stereotypical notions of Caitians are barbaric predators. And I'm sure he would've done the same to you, given the chance to. He knew what he was getting into and the consequences of failure or being caught unaware."

She leaned up against him. "As for you carrying Von and being with her.... You did what any warrior would do for those they conceder friend, boss, and even the helpless. You would render aid as you saw fit. Even if you were intimate with her or just cuddled for sharing of warmth. I understand. It was a necessary thing at the time." She looked up at him by tilting her head back to look at him. "I'd do the same and not given another thought about it."

"Nothing such happened my Mate, I was mostly on guard or patrolling outside." S'er'in'e replied though her words struck a cord with him. She would understand....he was not so sure he would or even could be as understanding. He hoped to never find out. "I hope...I wish that I be the only one that shares in your intimacies." His hold on her tightened slightly and his proximity to her aiding in his recovery. "I was not bonding to the Captain if that was what worried you, I am to you and you alone but the close proximity to her due to carrying her caused my condition."

Samanthia gave a soft laugh. "I knew I should've taken your fighter for a joyride. I'm sure I could've found a pilot worthy of the craft. If it was going to effect you this much." She finish with another giggle. "Now you have me to drive those scents and smells of another woman from your system."

He chuckled himself at her comment. He was glad to have her in his arms again close to him to draw in her scent. It was soothing his imbalance and it would take a little while to fix itself but she was here now and that was what mattered. He maintained his hold, his tail coiling high about her left thigh firmly for such an appendage. "You are more than welcome my Mate." He replied then added. "Would you like to join me for a shower?"

"Oh definitely. I gotta wash those other womanly scents from my big kitten." She smiled at him with half closed eyes. She knew it would be more than a shower.

S'er'in'e released her though be it hesitantly as her strong scent would be weakened but he knew it was only temporary. He gathered two of his very large towels from storage because he knew Samanthia loved to wrap up in one and still have plenty to spare. He stood by the doorway to the Bathroom once again looking at the marks on the doorframe he made that still remain as if mesmerised by the moment he put them there. He turned to his Mate and spoke with a smile. "After you."

As Samanthia passed by S'er'in'e, she held out a dermal regenerator. "You put the marks there, you get to remove the one I couldn't reach." Letting her fuzzy bathrobe slip from her shoulders to fall to the floor as she moved to the much larger bathtub/shower compartment. She had it installed while he was on his sojourn away from the station.

Obediently following S'er'in'e healed the one mark she couldn't reach. It did honestly make him thing that perhaps mitts were for the best at least for protecting Samanthia from his claws as he slept. Though honest in his reply that if she were closer to him it may save her from them he was also acutely aware of just how sharp they were as he often tended to them. Though he may find the idea of mitts slightly degrading in a way it was for her protection, to prevent harm to her and that want overrode all.

He noticed the new larger unit, it was substantially larger now and he was able to very comfortably stand fully upright within it. This close proximity along with the hot water made her scent stronger which he drew in deeply while allowing his loving Mate to start her washing routine.....mostly uninterrupted.

Being on a Private Deck, allowed such luxuries, but then favor called must favor be returned. Samanthia washed her self under hot comfortable spray of water. Starting with her hair, and working her way down, "wash my back please," Samanthia asked in a pleasant voice. "So you like the improvements to the apartment?" Seeing him stand fully upright in the shower/tub. It even had a quick draining pad so he could dig in his feet claws for better balance and stability. Plus it could dual as a pad to lay on for her for them long tub soaks.

"I do. Much easier for me to clean and stand properly." He soaped his large hands and began washing her back and sides using his paw pads as a gentle scrub. He was gentle near her ticklish areas and firmer up her spine and shoulders where he knew she liked the pressure or massage effect. He stopped then cuddled her from behind. "I missed you." His head once again next to and slightly under hers, his arms around her, his tail around her thigh. Even as the water washed over him he cared little compared to the feel and closeness of her to him.

Samanthia snuggled up against his warm body. Enjoying the ministrations and closeness of the moment. "Gentle rain, same tamparure," She spoke. The shower cut off and the ceiling opened up to shower them with water like a cloud had moved in and started to rain. Water drops were small, yet fell with gentleness of rain. She turned gently in his embrace to face him. Looking up at him to see his reaction to the sudden change.

Looking up S'er'in'e saw and felt the water dropping on him just like rain. Rain was something he always liked, watching it, listening to it as it rapped its tune against metal or another surface. He looked down to Samanthia and told her that it was a pleasant and nice change she'd made. It explained the extra sealing around the walls and doorframe to keep the water in the room. S'er'in'e though had another idea.

After freeing her from his hold he lay down on the floor, with him as he was it gave her space to lay against him almost using him as a back rest while the water gently fell upon them relaxingly.

She settled against him, within his limbs as she rested up against him. She reached out and gently scratched behind his ears and rubbed just below his jawline, near his neck. She looked at him, eyes wide with warmth and softness of love. She leaned forward with water dripping off of her head as wet strands of glistening bluish black hung wetly. She rubbed her nose against his and then proceeded into a cheek rub against him. "{Love you}" in her soft voice, speaking Caitian. She draped an arm over his body, looking into his eyes.

S'er'in'e returned the words in Caitian holding her close to him. Sometimes it was the simple things, the touch of another, the closeness, a word or two that could sooth any issue and this was no different. When she brushed his cheek with hers he took the opportunity to draw in her scent, that which bound him to her. "I hope our offspring have your eyes." He spoke interrupting his thought line of the children they were to have.

"I just want them to be healthy, smart, without anything wrong with them." Samanthia spoke softly hugging S'er'in'e to her. Enjoying the furry sensation against her skin. Snuggled up against his warmth and embraced by his gentle strength. She changed tone of her voice into a neutral authoritative tone. "Mist, temperature; Warm with 45% humidity." Rain faded into a warm foggy mist that induces a light cleansing sweat.